November is Caregiver Appreciation Month.  Preparing for this article caused me to reflect on my own journey in caregiving. I imagine many of you reading this have your specific stories, each with its unique challenges and gifts. For me, it all began many years ago when my brothers and I took on the role of informal caregivers for our mother and then later for our father. It was a period defined by sweetness and sadness.
The privilege of those intimate moments, of deep conversations and sharing memories, fears, regrets and celebrations, was something I’ll always cherish. But it was also heartbreaking to witness their gradual decline—seeing their vulnerability and knowing where this path was leading.

And now, life has brought me full circle. I find myself in a caregiving role once again, this time for my dear husband of nearly 40 years. The emotions this time are familiar and yet different.  The feelings now are layered with the complexities of our long-term marriage and the shared

understanding of the acute challenges we face together. It’s a reminder of how caregiving is not just a responsibility; it’s a profound relationship shift that reshapes how we connect with those we love.

The Emotional Matrix of Caregiving

There are so many families in similar situations—trying to balance work, family, and personal well-being with the commitment to care for someone we love. According to Statistics Canada, almost one in four Canadians provides care to a family member or friend with long-term needs. Caregiving can involve anything from occasional assistance to full-time, hands-on medical care. Complex emotions go hand in hand with caregiving. We are either first introduced to caregiving through an urgent and unexpected call (often in the middle of the night) or from witnessing a progressive and gradual loss of health and mobility.  Either way, few have open windows in their daily schedule, just waiting to be filled with the tasks and activities of caregiving.  On the contrary, this role is often adopted amid an already full and demanding life schedule.  It is not unusual for caregivers to experience feelings ranging from burnout, emotional exhaustion, resentment, and even anger, along the continuum to thankfulness, connection, and sacred engagement.  All can be true, and all can be true at the same time.  The breadth and scope of the multifaceted experience, with these often competing feelings and emotions, can make it confusing while operating in this unfamiliar territory. Yet, so many are grateful for the opportunity and, with effective support and relevant resources, recall a journey characterized by intimacy, authenticity, and connection.

Let’s now shift from personal observations to some practical tips.

Supporting Caregivers

If you know a caregiver, consider reaching out to them this month in a way that genuinely acknowledges their situation. Small acts can make a big difference. Here are a few suggestions:

• Be Present and Listen: Caregivers often feel like they’re carrying an invisible burden. Being there to listen, without necessarily offering advice, can be more comforting than you realize.
• Provide Respite When Possible: Even a short break can mean everything to a caregiver. Offer to step in for an hour, an afternoon, or whatever you can manage to give them time to restore their battery.
• Point Them to Resources: There are excellent support organizations in most communities.  Do a little research about what is available, make a list, and include some telephone numbers and contact information.

Practical Tips for Caregivers: A Reminder to Care for Yourself Too

If you’re a caregiver, you’ve probably been told a hundred times to “look after yourself.” But self-care isn’t always straightforward, especially when you’re in the thick of caregiving. Here are a few practical strategies that might resonate:

1. Find Your Tribe
   Find others who understand what you’re going through. Whether it’s an online forum or a local support group, connecting with fellow caregivers who “get it” can be incredibly validating.
2. Cherish Small Moments
   Enjoying a warm cup of coffee before everyone wakes up or taking a quiet five minutes to breathe deeply can work wonders for your mental state. Little pleasures matter, even when big stressors loom.

    3. Don’t Hesitate to Ask for Help
It’s tough to admit we need help, but people around you often want to support you—they just don’t
know how. Be specific about what you need, like picking up a prescription, researching some local resources, or watching your loved one for           a short time.

4. Bring in Professional Help When You Can
   Don’t feel guilty about using respite care services or hiring part-time assistance. It doesn’t mean you’re giving up; it means you’re sustaining your own strength to continue being there.
5. Prioritize Your Own Health
   It’s easy to skip medical appointments or ignore symptoms when you’re busy caring for someone else. Remember that taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s vital for the well-being of both you and your loved one.

Closing Thoughts: A Heartfelt Thank You
If you’re a caregiver reading this, please know that your work and sacrifice do not go unnoticed. You’re the reason why loved ones can stay at home and feel safe, comforted, and cared for. While it might not always feel like it, what you’re doing is extraordinary, and your strength and compassion make the world a better place. And for those who are not caregivers, acknowledge the caregivers in our lives. A text, a call, a little offer of help—these small gestures of recognition and appreciation can speak volumes.

Rhonda Latreille, MBA, CPCA
Founder & CEO
Age-Friendly Business®

p.s.  Since 2003,  Age-Friendly Business® has trained thousands of professionals and businesses committed to learning how to elevate the quality of the client, customer, and community experience.  They are called Certified Professional Consultants on Aging (CPCAs) and Age-Friendly Businesses.  They have earned the right to ask for your business.