We tend to admire composure in later life. Calm helps. Steadiness does too. A measured presence can be lovely. But what if the person making the cheeky comment at lunch, wearing the bright scarf, breaking into song in the kitchen, or turning a small mishap into a shared laugh is showing us something just as admirable, perhaps even finer?

We often confuse seriousness with wisdom. We see a sober face and assume depth. We hear a playful tone and assume lightness. But those assumptions can be badly off. I often joke that my quirkiness is part of my charm.  I suspect not everyone appreciates the sentiment.  Still, like most jokes, there is truth tucked inside. What we dismiss as quirky is often a sign of originality. Of ease, too. Of humour, and of a willingness to be fully oneself. Seriousness can come from confidence, yes. But it can also grow out of fear, stiffness, uncertainty, or the urge to control every moment. Playfulness asks for something else.

Researchers define playfulness as a tendency to reframe ordinary situations so they feel interesting, entertaining, provocative, or mentally stimulating.
That may sound light at first glance. It is not. A recent study of adults aged 50 to 98 found that playfulness in middle and older age was comparable to that seen in younger adults, and it was linked with life satisfaction, flourishing, and character strengths. (https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6102740/)

That finding deserves a second look.

Maybe playfulness is not a step backward. Maybe it is a high-level human skill. Think about what it actually asks of a person. You have to read the room. You have to tolerate uncertainty. You have to improvise. Sometimes you even need confidence and courage to take a risk.   A playful person can loosen the grip of routine without losing their footing. They can hold sorrow in one hand and amusement in the other.

There is also the social side. Playfulness often carries warmth from one person to another. It softens a tense moment. It keeps affection from going flat. It gives relationships oxygen. Playful people often seem less brittle in hard seasons, perhaps because they know how to reframe stress without pretending it is not there.

And let us give later life its due here. Playful older adults are rarely naive about hardship. Usually the opposite. They know loss. They know change. They know what it is to be tired, worried, disappointed, or sideswiped by events. Their humour is not denial. It is skill. It is a way of staying supple when life would very much prefer to make us rigid.

Perhaps that is why playfulness can feel especially compelling in an older person. It carries a sense of earned freedom. Less performing. Less polishing. More room to be real. And perhaps that is the part our culture still struggles with. We are comfortable praising older adults for being composed. We are less comfortable when they are mischievous, irreverent, unfiltered, or gloriously unbothered by other people’s ideas of what is proper.

A few closing thoughts for giving that spirit a bit more room.

1. Loosen one routine this week
   Try a different route. Wear the bright thing. Say yes to the slightly silly invitation.
2. Spend time with people who laugh kindly
   Not mocking. Not forced cheer. Just the sort of humour that leaves everyone feeling more human.
3. Let dignity and delight sit together
   They are not opponents. In many of the wisest people, they are old friends.
4. Protect your quirks
   They may be carrying more life than your polish ever could.

We often praise older adults for being composed. Fair enough. But the playful older adult may be showing us something worth cultivating. Not immaturity. Freedom.

Warmly,
Rhonda Latreille, MBA, CPCA
Founder & CEO
Age-Friendly Business®

p.s. Since 2003, Age-Friendly Business® has trained thousands of professionals and businesses committed to learning how to elevate the quality of the client, customer, and community experience. They are called Certified Professional Consultants on Aging (CPCAs)® and Age-Friendly Businesses®. They have earned the right to ask for your business.

Body: How A Playful Life is Good for the Body

A playful life can be good for the body as well as the spirit. Research on laughter-based interventions has found links with lower stress hormones, and health sources such as Mayo Clinic point to benefits that include greater oxygen intake, muscle relaxation, and support for mood and social connection. The National Institute on Aging also points to the value of enjoyable, meaningful activities for well-being and independence as we age.

That does not mean anyone has to perform cheerfulness on cue. Heaven spare us. But a life with room for humour, novelty, play, music, and shared amusement can give the nervous system a good workout and a friendlier place to live.

Spirit: True Object of Human Life

“The true object of all human life is play.”
G. K. Chesterton